I’ve been trying to be better about utilizing my Facebook pages. It’s been easy lately, what with “Wanda Won’t” out now (and available on my Amazon page for only…! etc.). I just make inane videos and post the second or third take that I can stand, because who wants to waste time looking professional?
I read the entire book to a fake audience and posted it to my business page. It actually clocks in just under a minute and a half, which should tell you exactly how much shorter this picture book is than my usual fare. The best part happens right about at the minute mark, when I start describing the illustration like I’m reading to a two-year old with the corresponding attention span. Habits die hard.
$6.99 on Amazon. Visit https://www.amazon.com/Wanda-Wont-Andrea-Schultz/dp/1981367926/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8.(Also, you can tell I'm used to reading with kids when about halfway through the story I start narrating what's happening in the picture. I stopped myself after the one page, and decided to eat lunch instead of re-recording.)
There’s an even shorter version on my personal page. Here’s 17 seconds of “Wanda Won’t: An Interpretive Dance.”
That moment when you realize your thumbs-up is out of the frame. I feel like I should have added royalty-free music to this; in lieu of that, imagine the "Chariots of Fire" theme, in celebration that my copy of "Wanda Won't" came in the mail two weeks earlier than promised.To purchase, visit https://www.amazon.com/Wanda-Wont-Andrea-Schultz/dp/1981367926/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8.
“The Bump Under the Bed” has officially made it onto my Amazon page, where you can buy it for $10.99. Also, after downloading a plugin for this website that helps to compress images and clear up some space in my media file storage, I tried to upload my marketing video again only to discover that I have poor reading comprehension. The site won’t allow me to upload any files larger than a certain size, so it doesn’t matter how much space I clear out of my media storage. Three minutes and sixteen seconds is simply too long. However, if you’re just dying to watch me make faces while I read, you can go here:
Amazon page for "The Bump Under the Bed" can be found here:https://www.amazon.com/Bump-Under-Bed-Andrea-Schultz/dp/1974068927/ref=la_B06Y4DCPS1_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1503589464&sr=1-3Hopefully that links properly. If you're interested in my amazon author page (which has all three of my available products for sale in one handy place – oh boy!), you can go to:amazon.com/author/alschultz
Oh my goodness, I had no idea I could actually link this video right onto my page. Apparently I’ve accidentally discovered a method for sharing my videos on my website without eating too much space. In related news, that is a really goofy screen capture my video decided to use as my cover image.
Finally, if you’re either my brother, sister, or parents that automatically qualifies your family unit for one free copy of “The Bump Under the Bed,” though I’m having difficulty figuring out how to get it to you. My Createspace account wants to send it to the address here in Montana, but it won’t make it before I move, unless I spend exorbitant amounts of money to expedite the shipping. If you are my brother*, sister, or parents, you know we don’t spend exorbitant amounts of money for convenience’s sake. Back to the drawing board.
*Insignificant note here: on my fifth editing read-through before posting, I finally noticed that I’d written “bother, sister, or parents” (italics added for emphasis), which is actually not a bad interpretation of that particular family role.
This afternoon I had just about the most fun a girl can have trying to create a marketing spiel for “The Bump Under the Bed,” and ended up with about twenty minutes of unusable footage documenting my increasing frustration. I trimmed it down to a thirty-two second video, which you can find by popping over to my Facebook business page:
The page is public and — therefore — accessible to the public, even if they don’t have Facebook (like the antisocial Schultzes that they are). FB is usually just my backup to thestoryfolder.com, where I repeat what I’ve said here but in fewer characters, but someone’s disk space usage is fast approaching capacity. Still haven’t cleaned up that back closet full of skeletons and stored images.
So the lie here is that it’s available through Amazon. It’s not yet, because it takes CreateSpace (an Amazon company that provides print-on-demand services) 3 – 5 business days to make the title available through Amazon.com. Which I found out this morning when I officially approved of the proof copy they sent to me yesterday, after I made this video. However, you can – if you’re absolutely dying for the chance to send me money ASAP – buy a copy through the CreateSpace website itself. Hooray! I’m not sure if you can qualify for free shipping through the subsidiary, but here’s the link anyways:
Shorthand: $6.99 for a print copy of “The Hatastrophe”
As soon as I receive word that it’s listed on Amazon, I’ll post a link to “The Hatastrophe,” either later this week or early next. In the meantime, you can admire this absurd video and politely golf-clap my efforts.
Also, this happened in the course of way too many takes: