BORING STUFF

This update is going up much later than planned – also, it’s more boring. My two excellent excuses are: 1.) the internet at the public library was down this morning, and 2.) that even with the extra allotted time from the internet fail, I still didn’t manage to finish the short story I’ve been wanting to complete and post since March.

(Blog tip #5,491: Always start with your justifications, and never offer any apologies. In other news, I’m sorry about this.)

I wasted some time scouring through my old homework from college, but I just cannot convince myself that any of the old short story assignments I have are worth posting. They’re okay, but they’re just not good enough. This collection is meant to showcase the writing I actually want to share with people. As it turns out, I really have gotten better since University. Annoying, but a comfort in its own way.

Still, what I’d really like to do is finish up the many short stories in my head; partly so that I’ll have something to show off and put to use on my nefarious marketing scheme website, partly because it would be a relief to remove them from my head where they’re taking up the space I should be using for newer (and potentially more lucrative) projects. Unfortunately, I have a very bad habit of stretching out short stories into semi-long ones, and though that allows me to create serial pieces, it also means it takes that much more time to complete them. I waste a lot of time trying to think around my desire to flesh out my ideas as fully as I’d like. Which will never work and, honestly, if I just wrote instead of thinking about getting around to it eventually, I’d have a lot more to show for it. Ah well. One of the things I’m working on this summer.

Jumping ship from that topic (transitions are hard), I’d like to take this opportunity to throw up (gross) a shout-out and related thank you to Mary Moerbe at “Meet, Write, & Salutary.” She’s a Lutheran wife and mother whose own time for writing has shrunk (that whole mother thing does it, I think), and so has taken it on as her mission to use her blog to encourage other Lutheran writers (or perhaps writers who happen to be Lutheran, as is more my case) instead. She wrote an awesome post about “The Hatastrophe” as well as “Small Town Super Nobody,” which you can read here:

The Hatastrophe

I also took the opportunity to work on my art portfolio. I’ve created galleries for several projects, and if you would like to admire all of the illustrations for “The Hatastrophe” you may do so at your pleasure, by hopping over here to my “Art Portfolio” page. The print copy of the picture book has a border frame around each illustration (as well as, you know, words), but these are the graphics on their own. I meant to put together a “For Sale” tab this afternoon as well – as a place to gather everything I’m selling (only two projects so far, but I should have a couple more by time the summer is over) – but I’ll have to do that another day. It took me two hours just to organize the art portfolio tab into something worth looking at, and I’m officially late for dinner at my brother and sister-in-law’s house. On my way, guys!

Lies and Liars (but really: The Hatastrophe!)

In the following video I lie terribly:

So the lie here is that it’s available through Amazon. It’s not yet, because it takes CreateSpace (an Amazon company that provides print-on-demand services) 3 – 5 business days to make the title available through Amazon.com. Which I found out this morning when I officially approved of the proof copy they sent to me yesterday, after I made this video. However, you can – if you’re absolutely dying for the chance to send me money ASAP – buy a copy through the CreateSpace website itself. Hooray! I’m not sure if you can qualify for free shipping through the subsidiary, but here’s the link anyways:

https://www.createspace.com/6973846

Shorthand: $6.99 for a print copy of “The Hatastrophe”

As soon as I receive word that it’s listed on Amazon, I’ll post a link to “The Hatastrophe,” either later this week or early next. In the meantime, you can admire this absurd video and politely golf-clap my efforts.

Also, this happened in the course of way too many takes:

A Gaggle of Nothing

I’m writing because I feel like I ought to, not because I have anything specifically to say. As you well know, this has never stopped me before, so it’s not going to now.

Actually, now that I’m working on a post, I just realized that I really do have something to say: I can announce that my brother-in-law wrote a book! This is the project I put together that bundle of illustrations for. And because I am terrifically lazy, I’m going to copy-and-paste Rev. Pay’s announcement from Facebook:

Hey everyone, I wrote a book! It’s no secret that I enjoy two things in movies and books: action and good theology. Sadly, they rarely mix. So I sought to write an action driven story whose characters find their hope, not in rays of sunshine or feelings, but in the Risen Savior and the good reasons we all have for believing in Him. Be warned: this is not a children’s book and is, most likely, not for the faint of heart. It is bloody and dark, but not vulgar. I hope it both entertains with action and edifies as the characters struggle with fear, doubt, sin, and death.

If that intrigues you at all, check out the synopsis and maybe give it a shot. If you don’t hate it completely, I’d love some reviews on the amazon site too. Thanks for any likes, shares, reviews, considerations, or prayers. Peace!

If you are interested in purchasing the novel (and/or admiring the accompanying illustrations), you can click HERE for his Amazon page. There’s an ebook version as well as print-on-demand copies available.

In other news, I’m nearly done with my very first picture book. I’m creating a print copy through Createspace, which is a self-publishing company that operates through Amazon. It’ll take a few weeks for the proofs to come in before I officially put it up for sale, but here’s the cover as a teaser:

So I may, on occasion, appear lazy, but I really do something with my time. I went insane and decided to try and finish the illustrations in time for my niece’s birthday, which gave me a week to finish. Crunch-time riddled deep holes into my sleep schedule, but it worked fantastically – she received a copy printed off my home printer. I both love and hate deadlines.