My new Facebook cover photo, because I’m going to squeeze blood out of that rock.
In other news, I just received the weirdest piece of spam that’s ever graced my website comment inbox. Roberttob from cialissansordonnancefr24 gave me a brief history of Dr. Who, and I’m not entirely certain what I was supposed to get from the lesson.
A flash drive actually ate all of my picture files for this latest book project. Fortunately, it did so half a day after I uploaded the entire book to CreateSpace, so I’m not nearly as devastated as I could be. The book has since migrated from the actual print-on-demand company to Amazon, where it is now wallowing in fame and glory. In other words:
In fact, ALL of my currently available picture books cost $6.99. I’m running a Christmas sale through the month of December, so get your copies now!!! On January 1st I’ll jack the price back up again, so get ’em while they’re hot.
For the first time in my life I went with a first-take. Why? Because I am unprofessional, that's why. And now with that resounding endorsement out of the way, to buy a copy of "Wanda Won't" for $6.99, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Wanda-Wont-Andrea-Schultz/dp/1981367926/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8.To see every one of my picture books in one convenient place (all three of which are currently $6.99 through the month of December), here's my Amazon author page: https://www.amazon.com/A.L.-Schultz/e/B06Y4DCPS1.
“The Bump Under the Bed” has officially made it onto my Amazon page, where you can buy it for $10.99. Also, after downloading a plugin for this website that helps to compress images and clear up some space in my media file storage, I tried to upload my marketing video again only to discover that I have poor reading comprehension. The site won’t allow me to upload any files larger than a certain size, so it doesn’t matter how much space I clear out of my media storage. Three minutes and sixteen seconds is simply too long. However, if you’re just dying to watch me make faces while I read, you can go here:
Amazon page for "The Bump Under the Bed" can be found here:https://www.amazon.com/Bump-Under-Bed-Andrea-Schultz/dp/1974068927/ref=la_B06Y4DCPS1_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1503589464&sr=1-3Hopefully that links properly. If you're interested in my amazon author page (which has all three of my available products for sale in one handy place – oh boy!), you can go to:amazon.com/author/alschultz
Oh my goodness, I had no idea I could actually link this video right onto my page. Apparently I’ve accidentally discovered a method for sharing my videos on my website without eating too much space. In related news, that is a really goofy screen capture my video decided to use as my cover image.
Finally, if you’re either my brother, sister, or parents that automatically qualifies your family unit for one free copy of “The Bump Under the Bed,” though I’m having difficulty figuring out how to get it to you. My Createspace account wants to send it to the address here in Montana, but it won’t make it before I move, unless I spend exorbitant amounts of money to expedite the shipping. If you are my brother*, sister, or parents, you know we don’t spend exorbitant amounts of money for convenience’s sake. Back to the drawing board.
*Insignificant note here: on my fifth editing read-through before posting, I finally noticed that I’d written “bother, sister, or parents” (italics added for emphasis), which is actually not a bad interpretation of that particular family role.
So the lie here is that it’s available through Amazon. It’s not yet, because it takes CreateSpace (an Amazon company that provides print-on-demand services) 3 – 5 business days to make the title available through Amazon.com. Which I found out this morning when I officially approved of the proof copy they sent to me yesterday, after I made this video. However, you can – if you’re absolutely dying for the chance to send me money ASAP – buy a copy through the CreateSpace website itself. Hooray! I’m not sure if you can qualify for free shipping through the subsidiary, but here’s the link anyways:
Shorthand: $6.99 for a print copy of “The Hatastrophe”
As soon as I receive word that it’s listed on Amazon, I’ll post a link to “The Hatastrophe,” either later this week or early next. In the meantime, you can admire this absurd video and politely golf-clap my efforts.
Also, this happened in the course of way too many takes:
I’m writing because I feel like I ought to, not because I have anything specifically to say. As you well know, this has never stopped me before, so it’s not going to now.
Actually, now that I’m working on a post, I just realized that I really do have something to say: I can announce that my brother-in-law wrote a book! This is the project I put together that bundle of illustrations for. And because I am terrifically lazy, I’m going to copy-and-paste Rev. Pay’s announcement from Facebook:
Hey everyone, I wrote a book! It’s no secret that I enjoy two things in movies and books: action and good theology. Sadly, they rarely mix. So I sought to write an action driven story whose characters find their hope, not in rays of sunshine or feelings, but in the Risen Savior and the good reasons we all have for believing in Him. Be warned: this is not a children’s book and is, most likely, not for the faint of heart. It is bloody and dark, but not vulgar. I hope it both entertains with action and edifies as the characters struggle with fear, doubt, sin, and death.
If that intrigues you at all, check out the synopsis and maybe give it a shot. If you don’t hate it completely, I’d love some reviews on the amazon site too. Thanks for any likes, shares, reviews, considerations, or prayers. Peace!
If you are interested in purchasing the novel (and/or admiring the accompanying illustrations), you can click HERE for his Amazon page. There’s an ebook version as well as print-on-demand copies available.
In other news, I’m nearly done with my very first picture book. I’m creating a print copy through Createspace, which is a self-publishing company that operates through Amazon. It’ll take a few weeks for the proofs to come in before I officially put it up for sale, but here’s the cover as a teaser:
So I may, on occasion, appear lazy, but I really do something with my time. I went insane and decided to try and finish the illustrations in time for my niece’s birthday, which gave me a week to finish. Crunch-time riddled deep holes into my sleep schedule, but it worked fantastically – she received a copy printed off my home printer. I both love and hate deadlines.