There is no entry in Microsoft Word’s thesaurus for the word “snot”

They didn’t even try to offer me the word “booger.”

Highlights from the move:

  • Getting my sister-in-law to admit that she loves me too.
  • Stopping on the edge of Nowheresville, SD. My sister and brother-in-law’s dog greeted me like the prodigal son, but only because I’ve spent years ingratiating myself to her with daily walks along the railroad tracks. I also picked up a cold on the way out the door (likely from the four-year-old, who’s shirtsleeve was streaked with snot by the end of each day; my brother-in-law’s disgusted but ultimately resigned attempts to get him to use a Kleenex ended in failure), but it was well worth it for the long weekend at their house.
  • One of the joys in my relatively frugal life is cable while I travel. I’ve never paid for it myself and likely never will, so the first thing I do when I get to a hotel is turn on the TV. I stayed up until 12:40 in the morning, waiting for something good to come on. I gave up in the middle of a documentary on the murder of Laci Peterson, after looking up the ending on Wikipedia. (The husband did it.)
  • My stuff took up a grand total of seven linear feet in the moving truck, but you have no idea how much this is until you live in a second floor apartment. Thanks go to Dad and Mom on one end, and the volunteers I somehow conned into helping me on the other. The TV cabinet I inherited from my grandmother wasn’t nearly as heavy this time around, getting to watch someone else haul it up the stairs.
  • There are 8,000 stores to shop at, and possibly twice as many restaurants in Fort Wayne. I have already gotten the rundown on which Walmart is the crappy one and which one is the good one, and – having been to the megastore every day for four straight days – I can tell you they were right. Also, I stood in front of the TVs for half an hour on day number four, talking to my brother on my cell just because I missed the sound of his voice.
  • I love store-bought frosted sugar cookies, but I should probably eat something else for breakfast. Fortunately, my sister packed me two of the pasties we made on Saturday, and a quart Ziploc of homemade caramel popcorn.
  • Still not actually breakfast, now that I think about it.
  • Sitting on the glider in my living room while I type this, I’ve only just noticed that my DVD holder (a book stand) prominently displays the movies at the end of each shelf. One of those movies is “High School Musical 3,” another is “Transformers,” and I am officially shallow enough to tuck those back into their respective piles and replace them with two of the three dramas I own, just in case anyone stops by.
  • I’ve set my cat’s water and food dish on the porcelain window seat in my bedroom, and for some reason this confuses the snot out of her. After I dump the food in the bowl, Harper continues to follow me around instead of jumping up on the ledge to eat, meowing like I’m hoarding her kibble in some mysterious place I have yet to reveal to her. Once she figures out the new system I’m thinking of moving the dishes somewhere else, just to see how long it takes what I formerly thought was an intelligent kitty to adapt.
  • Walking back from the Redbox at Walgreens, I noticed an office building that houses “Your POS Stuff.” I am almost certain this doesn’t stand for what I kind of hope it stands for.
  • A lot more than the above has happened, but that’ll do, pig. The rest of this week’s update will go largely unseen – unless you look for it. I’ve rewritten my “About Author” page on every site I exist on, updating it to reflect my new job and state.
  • And finally:
  • The Cat, lording it over her one subject. She insisted on the apartment with the loft and spiral staircase, undoubtedly for this reason.

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8 Responses to There is no entry in Microsoft Word’s thesaurus for the word “snot”

  1. Frank Simpson says:

    Nice report! Glad to see that things are going at least reasonably well. Don’t forget your ol’ pals in Montana!

    • A.L. Schultz says:

      Very much so! And there’s no way that I could forget you all. Besides, I’ll be back for holidays (or at least as many of them as I can make), so none of you have seen the last of me.

      (I feel like I should include a general WA-HA-HA after that statement. That or an: I’LL BE BAHCK.)

  2. Your Local Friendly IT Guy says:

    Lord Harper sees all and demands your fealty. And more obvious food locations.

    • A.L. Schultz says:

      Lord Harper was later seen rolling around the top three steps. She’d grab the edge of one with her claws and roll onto the next one, and I’m not entirely certain how I feel about having a paranoid schizophrenic as my overlord.

  3. Ruth says:

    What Red Box movie did you rent? I’m so happy to know you get to enjoy big city shopping. Buy a Starbucks every once in a while just for me eh? Blessings on your new job sista!

    • A.L. Schultz says:

      “Hidden Figures.” I really enjoyed it! Well worth a watch.

      I can definitely do Starbucks for you. Any excuse to drink a highly sugared-up coffee is okay in my book :).

  4. baschultz says:

    Hahahahahahaha. So thankful to God that you can still make me laugh from a 24 hours drive away. Miss you Big Time!

    • A.L. Schultz says:

      Happy to make you laugh! And what got you – the overuse of the word “snot” or the evil cat overlord? On the other hand you’re the classy type, so I’m guessing it was the POS joke.


      Miss you too, Mom!

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