ONE-PUNCH (wo)MAN

During my dad’s training course as a school bus driver, he was told to never cross his hands over each other while turning the wheel. Do it by inches instead, bucking forty some years of personal driving experience. “Why?” he asked.

Fun fact: Six drivers a year are killed when the force of their airbag deploying drives their hand into their face.*

That said, I’m not actually planning on changing the way I operate my mini-mini van whenever I get into a turn lane. You either live like you’re one truly unlucky fender-bender away from putting an appendage into your frontal lobe, or you don’t. For twenty some years my grandmother passed on advice and strict directives on what me and my female cousins should do whenever we drove at night, but besides the common-sense ones, I’ve never followed them. I don’t want to live my life like there’s a rapist hiding behind every bush I park next to. You open that can of worms, and live the rest of your life in fear.

Besides, if I do go because I drove my own hand through my skull, you can put this on my headstone:

Loving daughter, sister, and aunt.
Punched herself to death.

Not a bad epitaph.


*Exact number possibly inaccurate. I heard it from Dad who heard it from his instructor who got his numbers from heaven knows where; I couldn’t find the corroborating studies online. I did however creep myself out this morning while reading a Forensic Sciences article on “Airbag Related Injuries and Deaths.”

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4 Responses to ONE-PUNCH (wo)MAN

  1. Your Local Friendly IT Guy says:

    He became locked in his car and ate himself… to death!

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