PR Triumph: Would Someone Please Tell Alcon My Eyes Aren’t That Big

I am falling dreadfully behind on my update goals. Since this is as strenuous as trying to post one thing once a week (I even count these Ramble Blogs, in which I post something to say nothing) this is not a good sign. I would say that I’m going to make up for it by posting again this weekend, but I don’t actually believe that I’ll follow through. I’ll be back to my normal update schedule next week. So tune in next week, same bat-channel, relatively but inconsistently same bat-time, folks.

In the meantime, has anyone noticed how grocers hide their rising prices by decreasing packaging size? This is a somewhat clever public relations trick, where a food company deals with their growing costs (because of taxes, tariffs, transportation fees, what have you) by increasing the price of their product without actually making it look like they’re increasing those prices. They’re charging more per ounce, but the customer doesn’t notice. Presumably.

It’s vaguely annoying, just because it comes off as a trick. I mean, I get it. A company has to continue making money and paying their employees, and the only way to do that is to charge higher prices. Honestly, I understand the marketing behind it too – it’s interesting on a psychological level – but I don’t like feeling manipulated.

Still, what really gets me is the new size of the contact lens cases. Call me cynical, but they’re definitely larger than they used to be. Since contact lens cases are sold – or given away – by the same companies that sell contact lens solution, I suspect that their customers are thus using more solution per contact, which is very sneakily lucrative when you get down to it. For the longest time I got around this particular PR maneuver by using the same contact lens case I’ve been using since the early 2000s. Unfortunately, a couple of weeks ago I finally had to face facts: my formerly green contact lens case was a dull grey color, and covered with some sort of hairy residue. I don’t know what this stuff is – a combination of eyelashes, cat hair, and lint, if I had to guess – but whatever it is a good scrubbing wouldn’t get rid of it. You win, over-sized lens case.

The thing is, if my contact lens were large enough to fit the bottom of my new contact case, my eyes would be about the size of a watch face, and I would look something like this:

Either Alcon, Opti-Free, Equate, Clear Care and the rest of them are on the same underhanded page, or their customer base has changed drastically since I was in high school.  Mind you, the last time I checked, anime characters didn’t wear contacts. They do occasionally wear glasses, but that is an entirely different breed of cartoon absurdity. I’ll save that gag for another time.

In other news, I will never get tired of this joke.

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