In my continuing defense, at some point in the past I worked very hard on these

A Mouse Tale
By Andrea

Eeny, meeny
miney dragon
Have you been
plane in my wagon?

Eeny meeny
miney to Have
you been sleepn in
my shoe?

Eeny meeny
miney wink
Have you been
Planying in my sink?

© 1993/94

You thought I was kidding about scalping my Elementary schoolwork for blog material, didn’t you? “A Mouse Tale” has been transcribed exactly as written, and looks only slightly less like a series of texts written by a drunk person in the original handwriting. In my defense I was six (or possibly seven) at the time, and had only learned to write either a few weeks or a few months before. Mind you, this was not the first book I ever wrote. But I’ll save that remarkably good read for another time.

Oh! But speaking of texts (or more accurately – modern phones), two grades later, in the Fall of 1995, I came up with the following invention:

The crazy wacky wierd telophone.

When you press a button you can say the persons first and last name and it will dial the number for you. And if its to soft it will louden it up for you. I invented it so if you dont know what the number you can just press a button and say the persons first and last name and it will dial. You can buy it at malls. It costs $900 dollars.

I think someone in the phone industry may owe me a good deal of money.

At the end of the year – or so I’m guessing, considering its placement in the back of the file marked “Third Grade” – is a story that has actual plot, dialogue, and markedly improved sentence structure and spelling. That was my first year with Mrs. Anderson (I had her again in fifth grade), and she still rates high in the rankings of my favorite teachers. I can trace everything I first learned about story structure and plot progression to her.

So, without further ado, The Story Folder now presents “Among the Stars,” a third grade production of daring adventure in space, first brought to the world probably late in the Spring of 1996!

My story starts in Missoula, Montana in the forest. There’s a pond many, many trees and there is my house. It is pretty, white with black trimmings and it has a big garden.

By the way my name is Andrea Lynn Schultz. I have a friend named Czechislovakia. I’ll call him Chuck. He’s a skinny young boy and has blond hair, blue eyes, and is almost 4 feet tall. We both are 9 years old. One night Chuck and I were sitting on the front porch just enjoying ourselves. Suddenly a huge light appeared out of no where and it landed. The light ceased. In its place was a rocket!

My friend got scared stiff and almost fainted. I just stood there. It was blazing with the light of stars. Printed on the side of the rocket in golden letters was Star Lab. It had a blue stripe on the top of it, and the rest of it was gray. It was shimmering like a crystal. There was about a million ridges on it and was about 45 feet tall. On the tip of the nose of the rocket was a fire ball. It wasn’t burning the rest of the rocket, but I think that’s what kept it shimmering. It had the power of at least 20 trucks and was in the shape of a cone. It looked like it just had been polished. But right then to my horror the door opened and Chuck and I were sucked in! Finally he got to his senses and I wasn’t so frightened. Inside of the rocket were green buttons, red buttons, blue buttons, long buttons, small buttons, buttons of all different shapes and sizes. I couldn’t believe how many buttons there were! The inside of the rocket was painted teal and it too looked like it had been polished. It had two little chairs that were soft and could be twirled around. It had a couple of windows shaped into a circle. Then I remembered I had to get out. I tried and tried to get the door opened but it was locked! I was trapped and frightened!

Just then there was a jolt, and I flew back and landed on a big green button which turned the rocket on! I tried pushing a button but the pressure pushed me back and off we went! Finally the rocket slowed down and then what do you think happened? Chuck and I went floating through the air! I pushed myself toward the control room and found a little blue button which was labeled gravity. I pushed it and whump, bump Chuck and I came bumping down to the floor.

Then I looked out the window and I saw the horizon, the zenith, and then I saw Missoula. I started crying but I stopped crying because I knew it wouldn’t help getting home. Then I looked up and I saw many many different kinds of constellations. I saw Aquila, that means eage. And I saw Cassiapeia, Corona Borealis, Cygmus, Delphinus, Draco, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Lycra, Ophiuchus, Serpens, Orion, Pegasus, Polaris, and last but not least, Ursa Minor.

I was not sure where I was headed but it looked like I was going for the sun! But right when we were about to hit we took a sharp turn and there in the back of the sun was a green mushy mucky gooey planet! Yuck! What a disgusting planet! “What should we call this disgusting planet?” I asked Chuck.

“Beats me,” he answered.

“How about gooey green and mucky thing?” I said.

“No, that sounds like some monster covered with slime.” Chuck answered.

“Yah. I guess your right. Hmm I wonder.” I said.

“Hey! I know,” Chuck said. “How about the planet Oableck,” he said.

“Yah! Cool! Awesome! Radical! Nice name.” I said.

“I wonder if we will land.” Chuck said.

“Nope not on this planet. But I wish we would.” I said.

“Me too.” Chuck said. But I wouldn’t get out. I looked out the window again. Now the stars were shimmering even more than before. I looked at the world, and it was really small now. I sighed and said “I wonder if we will ever get back?”

“Wait a minute,” I said, “why don’t we turn this baby around.”

“Don you touch anything!” yelled Chuck. “I don’t want to get killed!”

“Oh don’t be such a baby.” I answered.

“Well O.k.” Chuck said. “Then lets get moving. Here’s a red button that says turn.”

“Then push it!” I said. “O.k.” And so we turned toward the sun.

I told Chuck to get some food because both of us know it is midnight snack time, so Chuck went to get some food that we found in a pantry. He came back, tripped on a bump and came jolting forward and hit a button that said “full speed ahead.” Aaauugghh! “We’re going straight for the sun!” We both yelled at the same time! I pulled at along skinny button that said stop, reverse. I pulled that, but I guess the pressure was to strong and it snapped off! Chuck and I knew that the long skinny button was our only chance and now it was snapped off.

We both started screaming as loud as we could and when we just started screaming, whump I fell out of bed! “Whoa What a nightmare,” I said. I jumped out of bed and then heard a small clunk. I looked on the floor and laying there was the long skinny button! I almost fainted I was so surprised! At breakfast I told my family about what happened last night, but no one believed me. I even showed them the long skinny button! I guess it was invisible to them. When I went to school I told all of my friends except Chuck about what happened and I showed them the long skinny button but nobody believed me and they couldn’t see the button either! Then Chuck came running up to me and he said he had a really bad dream and he told me about what happened. He was telling the story of what happened last night! When he got to the last part of it he ended it like this and when he was finishing I showed him the button and it sounded like this, “Then I um woke up” and he fainted.

“What a sissy,” I said. And now I knew I really had been among the stars.