I just wasted twenty minutes trying to find the “Housekeeping!” clip from “Cool Runnings.” Here it is in another form:

Sanka Coffie: Maid Service, sir! Would you like your bed turned down? Mint? Perhaps I could dust your head!

Yul Brenner: Whatever is wrong with you is no little thing.

Apparently there never was a “housekeeping!” scene from “Cool Runnings.” “Maid Service, sir!” will have to do.

Basically, this week’s update is notice that I’m cleaning out my poetry section and revamping/re-posting. Realizing that I’ve run out of pre-written poems to post, this is, in fact, part of an enormously nefarious plot to re-post all of my pre-written poems again. Sometimes my own laziness genius amazes me.

It is at this precise moment that I’ve also realized that I’ve gone and blown my own cover. Actually, I have several slightly less diabolical reasons for this. One of them is the fact that I hate the way I’ve organized my poetry. The genre thing is just way too clunky, so I’m going to scrub that entirely and post them the way I do my stories.

Mind you, if that’s all I was doing I’d re-organize everything behind the scenes without all the fanfare (I’m lazy, but I’m not that lazy; or at least I know how to hide it better than that), but it’s also a really good opportunity to work on my drawing skills and get used to the new art program on my computer. What I’m going to do is illustrate each poem and post them as art files. I’m hoping that this will also help with the viewing issues for anyone who uses a mobile device. A small screen forces the lines to bleed over into each other, which can be really confusing when the rhythm and rhyme of a poem depends on understanding its structure. By posting them as media files they’re forced to stay true to their formats. Let me know if anyone notices any problems I’ve subsequently created with this solution.

As to the blog posts with the old links, right now I’m just planning on letting them lie with broken links in place. I’ll fix them as I re-post. If anyone is dying to read a poem I’ve removed, just email me and I’ll share that like a boss.

So! In short, here is the only poem currently on my website:

The Cat on Cackler’s Lane

Apologies to my IT guy and my editor, who are currently the main people affected by this decision. Enjoy seeing everything twice! I’m also using it as an excuse to post website updates on my Facebook page. Anyways, I can get away with this because I’m related to both of them. Or not so much “get away with” as “do it anyways, neener neener.”