Radio Blackout

All three of my watchers have now officially informed me that my post is late. And in every major form of communication too. Online, in-person, and over the phone. For the record, I actually started writing this blog post last Tuesday during my lunch break, but have had to dump it since then. Because I hate to trash content even when it’s useless, here’s the outdated start:

I can always tell when it’s been awhile between updates; my IT Guy feels morally obligated to comment on the last post. The Sister, unfortunately, never feels such qualms, so while the radio blackout on her end is ongoing I officially have no idea if her subscription to my email update list is working, or if she just thinks I haven’t written anything in half a month.

Waste not, want not.

Admittedly, my work ethic has taken a big hit since I’ve moved. This may have something to do with constant access to the internet. YouTube has become the soul-sucking friend in my social group, the one you hate to introduce to your parents because you know they’re going to pull you over to the side later and gently point out that he might be a bad influence. Every Sunday night I make plans to try out a new writing schedule (with the purpose of generating some real stories for the story folder), and every following Friday I tell myself I’ll have a chance to try again next week. I remain optimistic, if nothing else.

Also, I was prepared to announce a short hiatus for the rest of the month while I try out a new writing schedule for the fifth time, but I actually prepared Thanksgiving content a couple months ago — if you can believe it — which means I can take off the rest of the month without looking like I’m taking off the rest of the month. I’m actually for-real working on a project (that mostly doesn’t involve writing), so once I’m back I should have something to say about it. For now it’s just easier to pretend I’m not up to anything. That way, if I don’t make my self-imposed deadline, I get to remain privately unsuccessful.

Finally, for all the folks clamoring and teeming to buy copies of my books as Christmas presents, I’m considering running a sale on my books through the month of December. I’ll officially announce closer to the 1st. At the very least it will not be a Black Friday or Cyber Monday deal, but only because I know myself well enough to realize that I will never do anything business-related during the holidays.

The story behind today

I am so proud of myself for figuring out some of the basic features of WordPress that it’s actually embarrassing.

Honestly, the story behind today’s post starts out and ultimately ends on a boring note: after researching size reduction and media file plugins, I accidentally deleted every single image I have (had) on my website. For some reason I didn’t shed the tears over this like I should have; probably because I suspected, between all the hours of research into shortcutting this process, that I was going to have to delete and re-upload everything anyways. This just forced the issue.

So while I’m plugging away on my media storage back behind the curtain (I’ll be cleaning up files and re-uploading in short bursts; if there are still some images missing into November, they’ll be back before the new year), here’s my slightly more thrilling news: I’ve finally put an email subscription button on my site.

*Cue cheers*

My update schedule has gotten absurdly sporadic, and I don’t plan on hammering my self-control into a calendar-shaped rectangle anytime soon. While I still stick by my one-post-a-week guarantee, some weeks I do more as the spirit moves me and other times I just barely make a single update by Saturday night. So! That was the very long way to say: if you’re tired of manually checking the website (or don’t have an RSS feed), you can now sign up to receive an email every time I update the blog.

*Nero gives the gladiatorial contender the thumbs up; cheering increases*

The second half of my search yielded the amazing news that I can actually enable comments on specific pages – a WordPress component, as it turns out. Despite the fact that this took me nearly two years to figure it, it thrills me to my core. Now all of my stories and poems have a comment section at the bottom of their page. Only having comments on blog posts bugged me because it automatically disconnected people’s reactions from the thing they were reacting to, and inadvertently discouraged people other than my friendly neighborhood IT guy from commenting on the story and/or poem itself. Who in the world is going to bother when commenting is a multi-step process (again, besides my brother; thanks, bro!)?

Next up we have the beginnings of my re-design for the mobile experience. I’m working on switching around how the header menu looks on a smaller screen and blah blah blah nobody cares. Short version: it won’t do what I think I’m telling it to do, but I’ll save the sweet talk for another day.

Finally, we have more behind-the-scenes chicanery. I have 117 blog posts (including this one), and every single one of them needs to be bagged and tagged. Right now my search function is fabulously useless. If anyone wants to re-read a specific post, they’re better off going to Google and typing the name of my website plus whatever topic they’re looking for into the search bar.

Ugh, it’s officially Monday in this time zone. So, uh, ta-da. My weekly post.

Scene 110 Shot A1

 

I begin to suspect that I will not be making Monday updates as planned. I’m thinking Tuesdays at this point, while extending the caveat that any time-guarantee is not yet in place. Quantity has so far been consistent, but only because I’m using one day a week to say I have nothing to say except that I’ll say more on a later day in the week.

In frequently repeated news, I’ll have something up at some point in the near future, whether that’s tomorrow or the next day. Or the two next after it. We’re not picky here at TheStoryFolder.

I’m Back (sort of)

An actual short version of a long story:

Update will go up later this week.

The slightly longer version of the same short story:

My surface pro has decided it doesn’t like connecting to public internet, the Xfinity self-installation kit for my apartment won’t arrive until Wednesday (give or take a few days, depending on whether they processed my order on Saturday or waited to mail it until this morning), and I don’t want to be reprimanded for using the internet for personal reasons the first day on the job. I’ll have to become too invaluable to fire first. Wish me luck*!


*Or providence, if you want to get theologically accurate about it.

Savage

This evening — my last evening here in Montana for awhile — my family and I ended up at the splash park, where most of sat in lawn chairs and watched my sister-in-law doggedly follow my niece back and forth between the water fountains and the jungle gym. During dinner we were mildly attacked by a hornet, who didn’t sting anyone but wouldn’t leave my Aunt alone for the better part of fifteen minutes. Half an hour later, after multiple assassination attempts, my brother finally stunned it between a pizza box and his hat. I kid you not, this is how the rest of us responded:

 

Confession: I am kidding about an announcer in the background describing our genetic heritage. However, the enthusiastic golf claps were real.

I’ve cried a couple of times tonight* (and goodness knows I’ll cry again tomorrow as I’m pulling away from my parent’s house at 5:30 in the morning), and today’s update is just a quick rundown on my schedule. There will be no updates next week as I’m giving myself a break while I move 1500+ miles cross country, and when I return on the 11th it will be to a single post per week. Right now the plan is to try on Monday for size, but the day is subject to change. Also, since I’m dropping down to weekly updates, I hope to make most — if not quite all — of them more significant in length and content. I.E. short stories, poems, serials updated weekly, longer blog posts, etc.

Of course, that may also change. At this point, the only thing I guarantee is the weekly update. When or what is up in the air, but the bare minimum of how often isn’t.


*and someday I’ll explain in full detail the creepy way my bother and sister-in-arms (a woman who has become not only family, but one of my dearest friends) conveyed goodbye as I drove away from their house on movie nights. But that’s a story for another time.